A good friend once shared with me this quote from V. Raymond Edman: “Never doubt in the dark what God told you in the light.” Before I decided to move to New York, I sought the Lord and felt his blessing once I made the decision. Just weeks after I moved, however, I doubted.
New York proved harsher, school harder, days lonelier, and my future bleaker than I ever imagined. I didn’t like journalism and I hated city life. I had few friends, little peace, and less money. Reality was hard to confront and I often questioned the Lord’s goodness toward me. I wondered whether I would ever find the rich fellowship of a community or cultivate the depth in friendships I enjoyed back home. These fears plagued me for more than two years. By his grace alone, through the holding power of the Spirit, he bound my wandering heart, all the while keeping count of my tossings and putting my tears in his bottle (Ps. 56:8).
To be sure, my life today is not like I imagined it would be when I decided to move. I have found the Lord’s promise to be true, namely, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart (Ps. 37:4).” Yet we are fallen and finite, making our visions of a good life meager. He rarely gives us what we think we want, and thank goodness, for he knows what we really want deep down. I often ask him for a stone, but he gives me bread (Mt. 7:9).
If the LORD had not been my help,
my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.
When I thought, “My foot slips,”
your steadfast love, O LORD, held me up.
When the cares of my heart are many,
your consolations cheer my soul.
When I accepted my job at LIU, the opportunity to invest in my new community excited me more than anything. That has proved to be an enduring blessing, among the countless others. This summer I took short videos of weekly highlights to capture sweet moments.
To my friends in New York: Thank you for embracing me and sharing your lives with me. And thanks for putting up with me taking videos when we were hanging out!
To my friends from Florida: Thank you for supporting me. The knowledge of your love for me strengthened me in many dark days. I miss you all more than you will ever know.
This video is 20 minutes, so I don’t imagine most will sit through it. Please let me know if you do watch the whole thing though. I made this for myself, not anyone else, but I want to share with you all what has been an amazing summer. I don’t want to make people feel like their life is boring compared to mine (I don’t record the boring parts of my life, lol). I want to exhort you to hope. Your deliverance from hardship may not come in this life. Hold fast, it may yet. Still, if it does not, then you will know joys far greater than the ones depicted in these clips. Don’t hesitate to call, text, or FB message me if you want to hear more about this great God I serve, or if you just need someone to listen. I love doing both!
Seek the LORD while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the LORD, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. -Isaiah 55:6-7